Musings of a British Chinese

Imagine this. You walk into school and everyone stares. And it's not because you're wearing a nice dress, or that there's something embarrassingly wrong with your hair. No. They are staring because you do not belong here. Why do you not belong? You grew up here like everyone else did, you went to the same school as them, you speak their native language. But you just don't belong. Something doesn't quite fit. Ah. It clicks. Your skin, it's too dark, yellow even. An alien hue.  Unthinkable. Your eyes, they point up at the corners, they are small and dark. Forget that they work just like theirs do. That doesn't matter here. They will sneer because they can, they can see that you're uncomfortable. Your food is disgusting and your culture is ugly. And they will hurt you but you can't fight back. Because if you do, it's your whole race you're disappointing. But they won't stop staring. Don't forget that whatever you do, whatever accomplishments will be linked back to your race. Of course you're smart, its an Asian trait. Silly. People don't want you here. But you feel scared because you don't know where you'll go. Go back home! But this is your home, yet you can't call it that. The people whose great-great-great-great-great grandfather's land are trying to kick you and your father out. But all that stands between you and them, is which father claimed the piece of earth first. And somehow you feel stranded. You are too white for your own race, but a clear foreigner in your own home. Tricky isn't it. And if this wasn't enough, if you could fend for yourself - they attack your family. You see your mum and dad slaving away, they fled their home just like your ancestors fled when their country was invaded. Parents wanting the best life for their child. A novel thought indeed, Can you imagine it? Do you want to? Imagine someone hating everything about you. And they've never even spoken a word to you. This? Hah! I wouldn't wish this on Satan himself, and I've stared at him in the eyes whilst he calls me a chink.